Dragging The Past Around, Danny/Jackson, NC-17
Title: Dragging The Past Around
Pairing: Danny/Jackson, mostly platonic
Word Count: 3800+
Summary: How Jackson convinces Danny to be his friend and other moments Jackson realizes how important Danny is to him.
Warning: Extreme Jackson angst. Spoilers from 2x06 and on regarding Jackson.
Author Note: Dipping into the Teen Wolf fandom to express my Danny/Jackson friendship feels~ Honestly, this should have been called “Four Times Danny Calls Jackson A Dick and One Time Danny Just Covers His Dick”. Hopefully, I’ll post up some Kurtbastian fic soon <3
Jackson first notices Danny when the other kids avoid passing to him during practice and shove at him needlessly. He’s not scrawny, his shoulders are bigger than Jackson’s, and he’s good at defense. Nothing about Danny seems any different than Jackson but he hears the whispers about Danny being weird, being different, liking boys.
He doubts Danny can change that about himself anymore than Jackson can bring his parents back. Jackson thinks about how he sits alone in his room at night, never lingering after dinner and the brief glimpses of his dad, always in and out of the office working on an important case. He thinks about that ache as he watches Danny eat lunch by himself.
So Jackson makes it his goal to become Danny’s best friend. He starts passing to him during soccer practice and one by one everyone follows his example. When the field clears after practice, Jackson holds his hand out proudly in greeting while Danny examines him carefully.
“Jackson,” he smiles, his voice only cracking a little.
Danny takes his hand slowly and cautiously looks around. “Uh, Danny.”
Jackson rolls his eyes as he slings an easy arm over Danny’s shoulders and steers him off the field. “Look, I’m going to say this once and only once. We should be best friends.”
Danny shrugs out of his grip, putting space between them. “What? Is this some kind of joke?”
Motioning between them, Jackson reasons, “I’m popular, you’re not. What do you have to lose?” Danny shuffles his feet nervously and wordlessly moves his mouth. Jackson continues, “Plus you’re the second best player on that field, after me obviously. Don’t we deserve the best?”
A small smile creeps across Danny’s face as he ducks his head down before meeting Jackson’s gaze. “Deal,” he grins, holding out his hand. “Even if you are kind of a dick.”
Jackson laughs as he bats his hand away and tosses his arm carelessly around Danny, leading them towards the locker room.
Preparing for high school and switching from soccer to lacrosse is stressful, even if he likes the challenge. He likes this – practicing nonstop, trying to stay on top, striving to be the best. He doesn’t realize how tired he is until one day he snaps at Danny, who’s been not so secretly crushing on some loser on the basketball team.
“Why don’t you just fuck him then?” Jackson grits out. How is he supposed to concentrate on his form with Danny so unfocused? He must have gone too far because Danny shoots him a wounded look, his expression nothing short of betrayed.
Jackson sighs. It’s all so frustrating. He thought Danny’s sexuality was one of those things they’d never have to discuss, something that just was.
Throwing down his lacrosse stick, Danny rips off his helmet and pads.
“God, Jackson, you really are a dick,” Danny fumes, shaking his head in disbelief.
Jackson’s surprised how much it stings. Danny has never treated him like the star player or the perfect son or the most popular guy in school. It’s part of the reason Danny is his closest friend, he treats Jackson like a person, never expecting more than he’s willing to give.
And Jackson went out of his way to hurt him.
“Well that’s what you like, right? Dick?” he asks and he already feels Danny pulling away.
Without looking back, Danny heads towards the backdoor, trying to get as far away from Jackson as possible. That sudden hollow feeling washes over him like when he bites back telling his parents he loves them, like when pretty girls smile at him and all he sees is an opportunity, like when he lets a winning goal score and screws up everything.
All of a sudden he’s across the lawn and gripping Danny’s arm tightly just trying to make him stop as he blurts out, “I’m adopted.”
Stopping, Danny turns to stare at Jackson in confusion. “What?”
“I’m…my real parents died when I was a baby,” he confesses. He can’t meet Danny’s eyes but he wants him to get it. He’s not going to say I’m sorry but he’ll do this – show his scars and his insecurities because he picked at Danny’s.
For a moment, Danny glares at him, face intense. Slowly his expression softens and he sighs fondly, pulling Jackson into a tight hug. Jackson returns it fiercely, not remembering the last time someone hugged him, and clings to Danny because it’s warm and comforting and Danny. Jackson lets his eyes close for a second, content.
Danny pulls back first and lowers his head to meet Jackson’s gaze as he admits, “I’m gay.”
Jackson just smirks and shoves at his shoulder, pushing him back towards the goal as he replies, “Duh. Tell me something I don’t know.”
School starts and Jackson is at the top of the food chain, Danny right beside him. The training Jackson runs them through all summer pays off and they make first cut on the lacrosse team as freshmen, which is nearly unheard of.
Girls flock to him and he considers circling one in his biology class, the one who coolly watches other students struggle before she raises her hand to list off the correct answer. When he smiles at her, she studies him like one of her lab experiments, simply waiting for the result she knows is going to happen.
Jackson isn’t the only one gaining interest. He sees the way some of their teammates take Danny under their wing, most of them genuinely interested in being his friend. One of the seniors, Rob, takes a special interest in Danny, showing him easier and more efficient ways to block the goal.
Jackson can speak for both of them when he says being on top feels powerful.
It isn’t until Danny is fidgeting around in Jackson’s room, their history homework spread out in front of them in various levels of organization that he realizes something is wrong.
“Spill,” Jackson says, setting his pen down to cross his arms.
Danny chews on his lip and eyes his essay like it’s the most interesting sight he’s ever seen. “What?”
Sighing, he says, “I want to finish this paper sometime tonight. So, what is it?”
Rubbing his hand nervously along his arm, Danny clears his throat as he admits, “Rob asked me to come over to his house this weekend.” Jackson shakes his head slightly, an unspoken ‘And?’ between them. “While his parents aren’t home.”
Ah, Jackson thinks. Danny shifts restlessly as he rubs the back of his neck, embarrassment rolling off of him.
“Go for it,” he says, trying for encouraging. Hopefully it sounds like he cares.
“It’s not that simple,” Danny rushes out, standing up to pace nervously. “I don’t even know him, I don’t even know what to do.” He runs a quick hand through his hair, worry clear on his face.
Jackson feels his mouth tug down in a considering line. “Try it on me,” he says, the words out before he fully thinks them through. How difficult can kissing a guy be? And if it helps to get them back to their homework, Jackson is willing to make a little sacrifice.
Danny stops cold and slowly turns to face him. “Jackson, you know just because I’m gay–”
He scoffs, “Please, I’m hot. Who wouldn’t want to make out with me? Come on, take me out for a test drive.”
He’d never say it out loud but the idea of Danny being alone with a pushy senior settles uneasily in his stomach. Of course, friends don’t stop each other from getting laid.
He pats the spot Danny previously occupied. “Come here.”
Affronted, Danny defensively crosses his arms. “This isn’t funny.”
“And I’m not laughing.” Jackson stares hard at him. “Fine, have it your way. I was doing you a favor. Don’t come crawling to me when he tries to shove his–”
“Alright,” Danny snaps. He quickly plops down next to Jackson, body tense. “But we’re not– this isn’t–”
Jackson leans closer and mutters, “Yeah, yeah. Do it before I change my mind.” Danny’s expression grows intense, his eyes zeroing in on Jackson’s lips as he inches forward. Their breaths mingle hotly together, lips nearly touching and the boom bah boom of his heart increases, blood rushing in his ears when all of the sudden Danny pulls back hastily.
“And we’re only kissing,” Danny whispers, color spreading across his face.
“Whatever,” he scowls, “Will you just hur–”
Danny’s lips are warm and smooth against his, almost the same as kissing a girl. Hesitantly, Danny presses soft smacking kisses to his lips and Jackson would think it’s cute, in a condescending way, if it wasn’t so ridiculous.
‘What are we, in first grade?’ he scoffs to himself.
He grips Danny’s chin, tugging gently to angle his head more, deepening their kiss. Danny sucks a sharp breath in through his nose, his hands clumsily reaching out to clamp onto Jackson’s shirt. Their noses brush against each other as he shifts his mouth, changing the slant of their lips. Heat curls through Jackson. He’s never been this close to Danny and it’s like cutting himself open.
Tugging more insistently, he pulls on Danny’s jaw, opening his mouth so Jackson can eagerly sweep his tongue inside. The slide of their tongues is electric. Jackson’s chest flutters at how breathless he feels. His hand finds itself cupping the back of Danny’s neck, impatiently pulling him closer. He’s kissed girls before, loves running his hands along their soft curves but this is Danny, with his sharp angles and strong muscle.
This is the only person who really sees him. They are so close, their mouths fused together, their chests inches apart and Jackson needs more. He starts leaning backwards, Danny chasing his mouth until he gets the hint, scooting Jackson up the bed onto his back.
Climbing on top of him, Danny straddles his legs sprawled across the bed. Danny drags his tongue hotly across Jackson’s bottom lip before he jerks back, gasping. Swallowing small gulps of air, Jackson quickly pulls Danny back down to him, demanding more.
He’s too far away, body arching, knees pressing into Jackson’s side. Jackson grips the backs of his thighs, widening the spread of his legs, wanting more of Danny’s weight pressing down on him.
Danny scrambles to brace his hands on the bed. “Jackson,” he warns, voice strained.
When he gets Danny flush against him and their erections pressed snug together, Jackson pants, throwing his head back. A firm hand slides into his hair, tipping his head slightly. Jackson opens his eyes that he didn’t know he closed to see Danny above him, mouth parted. He looks at Jackson reverently, drinking him in and Jackson arches up into him, his body responding to the attention.
Rolling his hips down and grinding their cocks together, Danny watches Jackson intently. “You actually like this,” Danny murmurs.
“Shut. Up,” he responds tightly, rocking up to meet Danny’s thrusts.
“This,” Danny groans, “is more than making out.” He fists Jackson’s hair and guides his head back, baring his throat, to place small kisses along the sweat-soaked skin.
Jackson cups his ass, grinding his cock more insistently up into Danny’s. He bites back a moan, already so close and they are still fully clothed.
Breathing harshly, Danny lays his body flat against Jackson’s, his arms wrapping around him. He buries his face into Jackson’s neck and moans, wrecked. Jackson’s cock aches as Danny pins him down, overpowering every sense he has. Danny is strong and hot against him, little broken noises muffled against Jackson’s neck, fucking their bodies frantically together and it’s too much. Grasping at Danny’s back, Jackson moans deeply and works his hips harder. It feels like he can’t breathe with Danny fitted so tightly against him and it’s perfect.
“Jackson,” Danny gasps, voice high as his hips stutter, the motion of his hips long and drawn out. Jackson whines, the noise stuck in his throat, and he turns his head to find Danny’s mouth, his lips slack with pleasure.
Kissing back weakly, Danny keeps rolling his hips, urging him over the edge. With a small tug of his hair and Danny lazily licking into his mouth, Jackson comes. Every part of him freezes, his body straining against Danny’s.
And then he’s finally breathing, his body humming pleasantly and there is too much pressure on his chest.
“Alright, up. You’re crushing me,” Jackson says tightly.
Danny scrambles off of him and flops onto his back as he throws an arm over his face. They lay there, tension building quietly between them while Jackson searches for something to say.
“So, that was pointless,” Danny laughs, turning to face Jackson.
Scowling, Jackson says, “My kissing is top-notch. It’s not my fault you suck at learning.”
Shaking his head, Danny looks up at the ceiling and sighs. Jackson snickers and sits up, grimacing at the way his underwear sticks to him.
“Well. If he wants to come in his pants, you’re definitely ready.”
Danny snorts and shoves at Jackson as he mutters, “Dick.” Jackson struggles to keep a smile off his face the rest of the night.
His phone keeps buzzing but he knows who it is. He should have done the right thing and told Lydia instead of blowing her off.
He swims faster, his arms reaching out in graceful arcs to glide effortlessly through the water. The pool splashes around him, noise bouncing off the walls, as he loses count of the number of laps he swims. Pushing and pushing, he plunges through the water, his body just going through the motions.
His phone dings this time, signaling a text. Jackson freezes as he reaches the end of the lane. He owes Lydia an explanation, even if it’s not the truth. Even if he will probably never be able to tell her about exactly why he’s avoiding everyone on today of all days. He easily lifts himself out of the pool, water dripping off of him and pooling around his feet.
When he walks over to his bag to snatch up his phone, there are several missed calls from Lydia, one call from Danny and one text from his mom, Dinner will be waiting for you.
He stares at the text, his vision blurring.
“Lydia is looking for you.”
Jackson keeps his back to Danny, his emotions too exposed. He doesn’t have the power to push everything under right now. Swallowing thickly, he says with surprising restraint, “I don’t care.”
He hears Danny shift behind him, his footsteps padding closer. He insists, “Yes you do.”
Blinking hard, Jackson realizes he does care. Under everything, all the frustration and emptiness Jackson feels guilty. Guilty for not telling Lydia the truth, guilty for punishing his parents, guilty that most of the time he really doesn’t consider anyone else’s feelings.
“Jackson,” Danny starts uncertainly. Jackson turns around, meeting his eyes, as composed as he’ll ever be. “Are you feeling okay?”
Suddenly Jackson’s walls are up, sharp words unnecessarily hurtful on the tip of his tongue but he’s not in the mood. He’s not here to escape Danny. He’s here because this is the same day his dad sat him down and told him he’s adopted, what happened to his real parents. It’s the anniversary of Jackson feeling lost.
And he’ll always remember this day, no matter how hard he tries to lose himself in this kingdom he’s built with his perfect queen and his perfect throne and his perfect right hand man.
Danny is a breath away from prying and Jackson is tired of snapping, of being angry about something he can’t control. Calmly he reaches his hand out and slides Danny’s bag off of his shoulders. Humoring him, Danny lets him place his bag by Jackson’s.
With his skin that’s a little too tight and smile that’s a little too wide, Jackson inches Danny backwards.
“You know what would make me feel really good right now?” he says, lowering his voice in the way that makes Lydia shiver against him.
“Putting some clothes on?” Danny retorts cheekily. He darts a look at Jackson’s chest, bare and still dripping with water. Jackson almost feels insulted how unaffected Danny is to be around him, practically naked.
Leaning in close, he stops Danny just on the edge of the pool and lays his palm flat against Danny’s chest. It feels as solid as he remembers, Danny’s chest and shoulders outgrowing Jackson’s day after day. He grins teasingly, laying on as much charm as he can, trying to distract him the best way Jackson knows how.
From the amused way Danny’s holding back a laugh, Jackson thinks it’s not working as well as it should.
“No, smartass,” he murmurs, blatantly staring at Danny’s lips. Just as he’s about to shove Danny backwards with his hand pressing harder against his chest, the image of him wet and howling in outrage already so clear in Jackson’s head, Jackson finds himself hurtling towards the water.
As he surfaces, sputtering in the pool, he shouts indignantly, “There’s no way you saw that coming!”
Laughing, Danny crouches by the edge as he says, “Please. You were using what you think is your sexy voice. Clearly you were up to something.”
He wades in the water, ducking down so Danny can’t see how wide he’s smiling. His face actually aches from it, every expression he made and every sentence he uttered and every action he did today all feel brittle compared to this.
He feels lighter.
Lifting himself halfway out of the water, holding himself against the edge of the pool, he gets in Danny’s face as he smirks, “What do you think is my sexy voice?”
Danny laughs as Jackson waggles his eyebrows exaggeratedly and makes the mistake of trying to push Jackson back into the water. Jackson fists a hand in his shirt and flings both of them backwards as hard as he can, the pool splashing around them.
Danny squawks as he wipes the water from his face. “You’re such a dick!”
Jackson chuckles and avoids the wave of water Danny aims at his face. They splash at each other and it feels like when they just became friends. Jackson feels like himself.
The smile slowly fades from Danny’s face and Jackson shouldn’t be surprised because Danny always knows. Jackson realizes he’ll just have to get better at hiding things from him.
Hovering in the water, Danny looks like he wants to reach out, like he’s lost trying to help Jackson become found. Without any second-guessing, Jackson pulls them underwater and wraps his arms around Danny. Stuck there, floating beneath the surface, it feels like they’ve escaped everything else just for a moment.
Jackson doesn’t have to worry about explaining his feelings, to think up excuses for Lydia, to hide what his parents already know, to stop the scream that’s building up inside of him.
He floats underwater with the only person who doesn’t need to ask what’s wrong. Danny just fixes it.
The voice is heavy and dark, full of anger and fear and resentment. It tastes bitter, lingering in his mind and he can’t remember who he is. Flashes of faces and blood and water drive him forward, so much rage inside of him.
The world is moving, colors different and edges warped, and he follows this helpless pull towards a house, scaling the side towards a window. He collapses flat against a floor, carpet rough against his underbelly and slithers further into the room, bumping against cool glass. He turns to face the full-length mirror and freezes.
He ignores the desire to kill, pulsing insistently inside him, and stares at the creature looking back at him.
‘What are you?’ he thinks, pacing back and forth, and the creature follows him. He puts a claw up and stills because he’s that creature. It’s like he’s been plunged deep into icy water, it filling his lungs, and he’s not sure if it’s his memory or the voice’s.
He gasps at the pain that shoots through him except it comes out as a hiss and he really is the kanima. Jackson shakes his head, confused because he doesn’t remember how he got here or even why he’s here.
A rustling startles him and he realizes this place is familiar. He’s in Danny’s room.
His body shakes, convulsing because that blinding fury is building inside of him again. That desire to kill, that need to punish them because he’s been punished, carries him to the bed. He’s hovering over Danny who’s fast asleep, head buried in his pillow.
The voice grows louder, more insistent but all Jackson can think is this isn’t the first time he’s attacked Danny.
‘Why would I want to kill my best friend?’
Gritting his teeth, Jackson feels the wood of the headboard creak beneath his grip and he tries to focus, to banish the voice in his head because he can’t hurt Danny again.
He can’t kill him.
‘Please, please I don’t ever want to hurt you,’ he thinks desperately, the skin of the kanima rippling into his own.
And he wraps himself around that idea, feeling more human because of it.
Suddenly he’s gasping in pain, his body completely shifting and it hurts. His bones snap, his scales bleed away to nothing but smooth pink flesh, his vision changes and he’s almost blinded with pain.
There are hands on his face and Danny’s staring at him in horror. Jackson feels the bottom of his stomach drop. He finally found something Danny could hate him for.
“Jackson?” Danny says, voice groggy. “I can’t be dreaming because you’re never naked in my dreams. What the hell is going on?”
Jackson pants heavily, the ache of changing still sparking through him, and there’s no excuse for this. Danny’s face is twisted in concern, his eyes still drooping with sleep. He runs his hands worriedly along Jackson’s face, across his forehead and his jaw.
“Are you on something?” Danny asks, searching Jackson’s eyes.
“No. No,” Jackson insists, throat dry and he’s too exhausted. “I need.” He pauses, closing his eyes and he’s so tired. “I just need to sleep.”
He feels the bed dip and he hears Danny banging around. Relief floods over him because Danny didn’t see him change. His body feels weak, unable to move and Jackson wonders how many more nights like this he’s going to have, how many of those nights is he not going to snap out of it in time. How many people has he killed?
Danny leans over him and slides boxers up his legs, fitting them into place as he pulls the blankets to cover Jackson. He climbs in over Jackson and sprawls out, his shoulder brushing Jackson’s.
“You get to explain to my mom why you’re half-naked in my bed,” Danny mutters.
Almost asleep, Jackson rolls onto his side, pressing close to Danny. He’ll worry about everything tomorrow. Right now he concentrates on how warm Danny is and how Danny smells like home and drops off to sleep.
28 Notes/ Hide
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